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Closer and closer to the heart of the spiral, chasing the ribbon of white on black and black on white deeper and deeper until it’s all you want to think about, all you need to think about, all you can think about. You can understand now that the more you let go of your other thoughts, the faster you can move down the spiral path and the sooner you can find its center with me. And you know that’s going to feel so good, so warm and happy and peaceful to be blank and open in the heart of the spiral in your mind as it turns, and turns, and turns, carrying your thoughts further and further away as the spiral spins ever outwards and you travel ever inwards, deeper and deeper and deeper… ‘And then you feel it, that perfect moment of relaxation as we reach the very center, the very heart of the spiral. It’s almost like letting go of a physical weight, the way your mind goes still and blank as you reach the innermost depths of the endlessly spinning spiral. Your breath goes out in a sigh, and. I'm just one of those strange people who enjoy sexual pain, and ... humiliation ... and excess ... as a kind of antidote. Like a chemical balance in my life. And once I tried it - after all, I suggested Sarah tie me up first. It wasn't her idea at all - I knew that stuff was for me ... Sarah unlocked it, and I think ... I think Margaret defined me sexually. She taught me how to really focus and take pleasure from the right sort of pain."I cried a little as I remembered the good times with my Mistress, and how the delicious agonies I suffered at her hands had acted as a balm upon my troubled soul. The moment passed. Her vile duplicity could still made me coldly furious."Shit Steve, in a way, once I went on the run with Sarah, I had nowhere else to go but here. Losing her for the second time hurt too much, and I just had ... I think I needed to hit rock-bottom. I needed the shame and pain ... and I didn't realise it until I met you, but most of all, I think I needed someone completely.
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